Monthly Archives: December 2008

Texting With a 7-Year-Old

Marissa has just discovered the fine art of texting, and she’s enjoying trying her new skills out on her daddy.  Here’s sort of how the conversation went between the two of them:

Jason:  What did you have for lunch?
Marissa:  Lzonua
After another text to Marissa, she responded with:  Im woch a moov stop testing me
Jason:  What movie are you watching?
Marissa:  Confoow
So, one can imagine why I’ve decided I absolutely MUST keep track of the hilarious texts she sends!  More to come, I am sure. 

Misbehaving Elves

I attempted to go to accomplish some Christmas shopping with our two littlest elves in tow on Saturday–the key word is ‘attempted.’  We loaded up the big blue family sleigh, picked up Mom, and headed for the mall with visions of Christmas gifts dancing in our heads.  That, however, was soon to be replaced with visions of toddlers who do not at all care for shopping.

Jordan did ok.  For the most part, he indulged in all the cookies and juice I had packed as emergency rations for our journey, and he was content to work on his all-day sugar high.  Jadon, however, was another story.  Welcome to Terrible-Two-Ville.  Yes, terrible.  From the first store to the last, he thrashed and screamed and threw the biggest fits, all the while screaming “Da-Da” as loud as he could.  Evidently my little pumpkin wanted to go home and play with Daddy, free from the constraints of the rolling baby prison I currently had him in.
I was determined not to give in.  I would not lose to a toddler when there was very important Christmas shopping to be done.  No, sirree.  So, we trudged on, and in store after store the melodic sounds of holiday music were replaced with the desperate wails of one of my unhappy little elves.  I’m surprised no one thought the poor baby was being kidnapped, screaming for his “Da-Da” like he was.  One might have thought a complete stranger had picked him up and was forcing him to participate in our frenzied holiday shopping tradition.  Well, this was not stranger, and by golly, he was going to participate in our frenzied tradition!
We played this game through both levels of the mall, all the while Jordan was still stuffing cookies in his mouth like they might be the last ones he would see for another entire year.  Yes, we walked the entire mall, but I am not sure what we may have looked at or purchased.  By the end of the second level, I was thinking to myself, ‘Oh, you’re gonna get your Da-Da alright, and he can KEEP you for the rest of the night while Mommy imbibes in some holiday cheer.’
I was once again reminded of why we try to avoid taking the boys in public at all, unless in cases of life or death.  I am pretty sure I would rather choke on a candy cane than shop with two toddler boys.  In the end, my sweet little elf got his way, and we loaded up the sleigh with our few meager purchases.  As soon as his little elf tush hit the car seat, he smiled and said, “Ha!”  I know he was really thinking, Good grief, it sure took her a long time to figure out that I don’t want to shop!

O Christmas Tree

Our Christmas tree is still standing!  If you’ve ever set foot in our household, you would completely understand why this is a major accomplishment.  Between the two toddlers and the three cats, there are forces beyond my control working to destroy any and all holiday decorations.

Micaela has been collecting clip-on birds for the tree.  Every year she gets one, so as of this year, she had several clipped in various locations around the tree, which is great, except for the fact that cats tend to want to eat birds.  We came home a few days ago to a fake bird massacre, with gawdy feathers and glitter strewn everywhere and the broken bodies of birds clinging fearfully to the drooping branches.  Evidently, the cats were not able to discern between the real thing and Micaela’s collection, so she now has an enviable collection of bird torsos and feathers.
The tree itself stands majestically behind a plastic gate that closes off the entire entry room, making it look like one of those rooms in an old historic house that you can only look inside but can’t actually go in.  Yep, no flash photography, folks.  As if that weren’t bad enough, this is the only room that is completely closed off from the boys, so in addition to the Christmas decor, this room also houses anything and everything that needs to be kept from the boys.  As I left this morning, I saw computer bags, hamster food, shoes, book bags, a guitar, Christmas wrapping paper and bows, and cell phones–all of which, I might add, drastically affect the look I was going for in this room.
At least two of the cats like to climb the tree and sleep in the higher-up branches, which would be no big deal, except for the fact that one of the climbers looks more like a bobcat that a house cat.  This tends to make the tree shake like we’re in the middle of an earthquake…
But the tree is still standing!  This is a true Christmas miracle!