Misbehaving Elves

I attempted to go to accomplish some Christmas shopping with our two littlest elves in tow on Saturday–the key word is ‘attempted.’  We loaded up the big blue family sleigh, picked up Mom, and headed for the mall with visions of Christmas gifts dancing in our heads.  That, however, was soon to be replaced with visions of toddlers who do not at all care for shopping.

Jordan did ok.  For the most part, he indulged in all the cookies and juice I had packed as emergency rations for our journey, and he was content to work on his all-day sugar high.  Jadon, however, was another story.  Welcome to Terrible-Two-Ville.  Yes, terrible.  From the first store to the last, he thrashed and screamed and threw the biggest fits, all the while screaming “Da-Da” as loud as he could.  Evidently my little pumpkin wanted to go home and play with Daddy, free from the constraints of the rolling baby prison I currently had him in.
I was determined not to give in.  I would not lose to a toddler when there was very important Christmas shopping to be done.  No, sirree.  So, we trudged on, and in store after store the melodic sounds of holiday music were replaced with the desperate wails of one of my unhappy little elves.  I’m surprised no one thought the poor baby was being kidnapped, screaming for his “Da-Da” like he was.  One might have thought a complete stranger had picked him up and was forcing him to participate in our frenzied holiday shopping tradition.  Well, this was not stranger, and by golly, he was going to participate in our frenzied tradition!
We played this game through both levels of the mall, all the while Jordan was still stuffing cookies in his mouth like they might be the last ones he would see for another entire year.  Yes, we walked the entire mall, but I am not sure what we may have looked at or purchased.  By the end of the second level, I was thinking to myself, ‘Oh, you’re gonna get your Da-Da alright, and he can KEEP you for the rest of the night while Mommy imbibes in some holiday cheer.’
I was once again reminded of why we try to avoid taking the boys in public at all, unless in cases of life or death.  I am pretty sure I would rather choke on a candy cane than shop with two toddler boys.  In the end, my sweet little elf got his way, and we loaded up the sleigh with our few meager purchases.  As soon as his little elf tush hit the car seat, he smiled and said, “Ha!”  I know he was really thinking, Good grief, it sure took her a long time to figure out that I don’t want to shop!

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