The child who usually wakes in fearful fits of eardrum-bursting, high-pitched wails of desperation whenever he hears a leaf blow across the yard after bedtime just slept through the first big storm of springtime.
We’re talking hail the size of golf balls flinging itself in a wild frenzy into the sides of our house, the windows, everything. We’re talking lightning streaking the sky and lighting up everything like it’s daylight. We’re talking parents whispering things like, “Oh crap, that’s gonna wake him up” as we tiptoe around the house trying not to add to the cacophony already waking up kids all across the city.
Um, yeah. Señor Jadon slept right through it. Right. Through. It.
We were already prepared to make a soft bed of blankets on our floor, waiting for him to set of his fire-siren wail. But there was no wail.
My first thought was Oh, my Gawd, someone has kidnapped our child! The one who is terrified of hopping grasshoppers and farting frogs and any other such horrendous noise-making creatures of the night! But nope. Nope, there he was, all snuggled in his little bed, snoring away.
Which made me think that all these nights of terrified screams and soft blankets on the floor and calming his fears have been nothing but a sham. That kid is not as scared as he would have us believe. My friends, I think we have been played.
We have been conned by a master con artist masquerading as a sweet, innocent 4-year-old boy. Score 1 point for Jadon, but just to be clear, we are onto his little game now. Oh yes, we will be fooled no more. Well, okay, we probably will, but for today, I am putting my foot down.