Conversation With a 5-Year-Old

It started at about 6:00 this morning as I was getting ready for work, and I really did a fairly decent job of keeping a straight face throughout the ordeal.  Went a little something like this:

Jadon:  Morning, Mama.  You putting on make-up?

Me:  Yep, I’m getting ready for work.

Jadon:  Girls wear make-up?

Me:  Yes, girls wear make-up.

Jadon:  Boys don’t wear make-up, right?

Me:  That’s right.

Jadon:  (Observing my almost-dressed-for-work state)  Boys don’t wear bras.

Me:  That’s right, too.

Jadon:  Girls wear bras?

Me:  Yes, girls wear bras.

Jadon:  So that when the cops stop them for speeding their boobies don’t bounce and the cops don’t laugh?

Me:  Ummmm….why don’t you go watch SpongeBob while Mommy finishes getting ready?

Ok, a couple of things here.  First of all, we are not frequently stopped by the cops, nor do we usually refer to them as “the cops” to the kids.  We sometimes point out police cars and such, but really, it sounded like I was living with a little gangsta this morning.  “Yeah, man…gotsta watch out for those cops, man.”  WHAT?!

Also, as a public service announcement to all my friends out there, remember to wear your bras.  Because if you don’t, and if you jiggle or bounce or anything, the cops WILL most certainly laugh at you.  You are welcome.

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