Monthly Archives: February 2013

Taking Care of Others

Apparently, according to the lecture I received from my very awesome and truly good-hearted eye doctor yesterday, I spend so much time taking care of others that I am neglecting to take care of myself.  Also apparently, that nasty red-eye business I’ve been dealing with for over two weeks now should have been dealt with much sooner, because it’s neither allergies nor a scratch nor anything else so easily taken care of.  Yay.  (Major sarcasm in use there.)
Now, had the symptoms I’m dealing with (itchy eye, redness, loss of vision, goop, pain, sensitivity to light and air) appeared in any one of my children, I would have gotten them to the eye doctor immediately.  Well, okay at least WAY sooner than I hauled my own sorry butt into the doctor.  We might have given it a day or so to see if it was allergies or something, but we definitely wouldn’t have waited TWO. WHOLE. WEEKS!  (And that’s exactly how my eye doctor said it…sort of with a tone of awe and disapproval all mixed together.)
So, if it’s not allergies and it’s not a scratch, what pray tell, could it be?  Allow me to enlighten you.  I have an anoxic corneal ulcer, which is making my eye very angry.  To drive the seriousness of this situation home, my doctor told me that he’d recently had a patient present with the very same issue, and he ended up losing vision entirely in the affected eye.  Well crap.
I was really just hoping for some eye drops or something.
Instead, when my vision was tested WITH my glasses on, my left eye only read at 20/80.  Not good at all.  I pretty much can’t see anything out of my left eye, and had I checked this situation out sooner, it probably wouldn’t be this bad.  Well crap (again).
This angry little ulcer is pretty far along in its path of destruction, but my doctor is hopeful that with aggressive and diligent care, we can get my eye back to a healthy state.  But I have learned a very important lesson (the hard way).  It’s something I’ve known, but not really had demonstrated in my life.  It’s important to keep yourself healthy in order to take care of others.
Believe me, these last few days living life as a cyclops have not been fun, and seeing the world through a smoky haze makes me less than productive (and slightly grumpy).   Boy, have I been knocked down a peg or two and taught a lesson about what it means to maintain good health…and that includes eye health!
Oh, and I did get some eye drops.  Lots of ‘em.  And they BURN!  And I get to take about 90 days of a pretty potent medicine to stave off what’s trying to grow in my eye.  Awesome.  I don’t plan on letting this happen again, but if you see me in the near future, try to pretend that I’m not winking incessantly at you, k?

A Translation Project

In a continuing effort to understand my children more fully and answer the ever-present question of, “What the hell was he/she thinking?!” I have put together the following translation of a recent Kindergarten document.  (Because I’m pretty sure that no one, the teacher included, would be able to understand what the hell Jadon was writing on this paper.)  In order to clarify what this particular Kindergartener was thinking, I have provided the following translation.
First of all, here is the assignment in question.  I have gone over the sentences in depth.  (You will notice a PLETHORA of red ink, but I’m pretty sure that’s just because it’s the teacher’s favorite color…not because my Sweeeet Precious could have made that many errors.)
1   (What it should have said)

I can do it.
(What it really says)
I can do it.
(So far, so good.  We are looking at a potential future writer!)
(What it should have said)
We will see you.
(What it really says.)
We ap see lot, which means I would rather be playing Skylanders right now.
(What the hell?!  Did he get into my NyQuil?)
(What it should have said)
She will look for me.
(What it really says)
She sank er on, which means This is getting more boring by the minute.
(What it should have said)
The cat is in the box.
(What it really says)
The con in f to, which means If I pee my pants, can I leave class?
(We are going to flunk Kindergarten.)
(What it should have said)
He was on the step.
(What it really says)
Heat len that la ys, which means I only remember to wash my hands occasionally.
(Ummm, holy crap.  What the hell is he doing?  It’s like he’s never seen a flashcard or a book before!)
(What it should have said)
Something about a chip…at this point the teacher has given up.
(What it really says…apparently in Roman numerals)
This is not my Wii game, therefore I refuse to cooperate.
(Can Kindergarteners go to summer school?)
I don’t believe I need to continue to the end of the paper.  Needless to say, it goes downhill, people.  Down a big, long, dark, scary hill.  We are over halfway through Kindergarten, and apparently words like ‘jam’ and ‘hop’ and ‘nut’ are now written like, well, more Roman numerals.
And his explanation?  “I was bored.”
Yeah, I would have to concur.  Something makes me think that if this assignment had been given on the ipad or if he had been able to complete it on my laptop, the results would have been much different.  The poor kid is being made to live like a caveman and (gasp!) write with pencils and use other stone-age-type tools like books and such.  I’m not sure how he’s going to make it.  The next thing you know, we’re going to be asking him to do things like play outside and maybe even step away from Netflix for a little while.